Almost Like A Prayer 

​Lately, I’ve been drinking to be happy. 

When I’m sober, I can’t seem to forget how much this hurts. 

I feel like exploding. 

My mind and my heart are both a mess. 

Thoughts and feelings are boiling over. 

Imploding. 

Over saturated. 

I can’t seem to soak up any more lies or any more honesty. 

I can’t tell which is which. 

This confusion and frustration is taking too much out of me. 

And lately I’ve been falling asleep in my work clothes because I can’t muster up the energy to change. 

My arms and legs aren’t working right. 

I keep shuffling my feet and looking down when I walk. 

Scénarios play in my mind where I destroy everything closest to me, even though I feel like I have nothing left worth losing. 

I don’t want to live anymore but I’m too uncertain of life after death to pull the trigger. 

I walk every day, shuffling my feet, looking down when I walk, a gun held to my head waiting for someone to walk up and pull the trigger for me. 

In my head I aim at everything else. 

When it’s over my hands are stained with blood and I’m standing alone. 

I need God to save me. 

The last time I asked Him to kill me He didn’t do it. 

I need God.

To Save Me.

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Someone,,

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Please Save Me.
©Marie Meyer, 2017

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