The Catch Up

So, it feels the same now as it did in the beginning

…which is to say,
it doesn’t really feel
like anything at all;

and when the feelings
from the past
catch up to the present,
does that mean the battle’s over…?
…Who won?

The stages of our lives are out of order;
our futures are being written in,
not the end, but the middle,
and I don’t know
how much weight
this ship can carry

…How do I make my way to you
without us sinking,
drowning
in a sea of listlessness –
anxiety, anger, fear, depression –

and all because -I- reached for -you-,
or because -you- reached for -me-,
and at the same time?

Well, in my mind,
it sounds like we stay dry better
on opposite sides of this line.

And when feelings from the past catch up to the present
does that mean the battle’s over…?
…Who won?

Because I know this,
that I’ve felt like this,
once or twice or thrice before –

don’t mistake me;
it’s the acceptance and strength I’m referring to;

The stages of our lives are out of order;
our futures are being written in,
not the end, but the middle,

We like to say that
we don’t know why
we feel so restless, but
you know as well as I do
that with this confusion,
we’re each other’s muse.

We like to say that
we don’t know why we feel so restless, but
that’s not the truth.

We,
say it silently in our minds,
afraid
to make it real
and irreversible, and
because maybe we’re still in love,
just a little bit.

© Marie Meyers

copyright Marie Meyers, 2016

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